someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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