he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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