oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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