the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
