U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize