MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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