He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
