I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Enjoy the penises
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
