So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
