I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
