almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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