your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Even my vagina gasped.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize