break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
only if we run a train.
done.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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