dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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