Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
