So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have demons in me.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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