Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
