Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
