I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
