So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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