so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
