are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
