We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
