oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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