the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
