oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
