:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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