Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
