she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
