Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
