i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
