Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
