His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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