Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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