woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
