Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize