From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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