How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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