Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
