He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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