Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
