Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize