Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
