Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
