so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I believe in your delicious
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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