Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
4 words: hood of his car
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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