At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
