awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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