Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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