Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
