Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
