Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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