everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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