i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
