you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
