Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize