I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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