At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
