I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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