Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
