Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
