I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
