You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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