you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
